At the lowest of the lowest today. I am insufficient, talentless and I lack skill. Why am I chasing after something that is almost impossible to attain? As hard as I may try, I will never reach my goal. I will never arrive at anybody’s expectations. Every single one of my creative endeavours have flopped, been unfinished and have gone nowhere.
What am I even doing here? Why did I make this choice? There are too many voices in the world, why should mine be so special? Nobody hears me, or sees me. I shouldn’t try to create, to be different, to reach out. Everybody is fighting for the surface you see, maybe to conform is to be different. To blend in, to be another mindless zombie amidst our chaotic society. That sounds much better, much easier.
No effort = no expectations = no disappointment.